“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
– JRR Tolkien
Truer words have never been said…
There are a few things on my ‘backlog’ that I want to write about—our Okinawa trip, the baseball game, the basketball game, and some fun things we’ve done so far in Taiwan. It’s also been two months since I left Seattle, and almost a month since Kai and I started this adventure. We’ve transitioned from a vacation mindset to something that feels more like real life.
The obvious post right now would be something about how fun it’s been and how wonderful this experience is.
Well—that’s not what this post is going to be about.
Don’t get me wrong—this trip has been fun, and it has been a wonderful experience. There hasn’t been a moment where I caught myself thinking, “This sucks—I wish I hadn’t done this.” In fact, I highly suspect I’ll want to do this again with a future Kai. It might not be in Taiwan, but somewhere else we can share another adventure together. I’m sure that sentiment will come through in a lot of future posts—but this won’t be one of them.
I guess the basis of this post is more of a “get it out of the way” kind of thing. A (hopefully brief) note about a personal flaw intersecting with my current situation, how that’s showing up in some not-so-great ways—and more importantly—how I’m trying to deal with it. So this isn’t really about the trip, but more about what’s happening to me during a trip like this.
Organization Motivation has never been my strongest trait. The original idea behind this trip was for me to relax and not feel the need to be motivated to do anything. I could afford to work through my video game backlog, nap in the middle of the day, and just generally not accomplish anything for three months.
Well—that changed pretty quickly. Now I actually need to get some things done in preparation for going back to the U.S. I know myself well enough to realize that if I’m not careful, these three months will completely slip by. Days will blur into each other in a lazy haze, and the next thing I know, I’ll be packing up and way behind on stuff back home.
To fight that tendency, I’ve been keeping a log (I refuse to call it a journal) of my daily activities—hoping the shame of having to write a three-line day will keep me from having a three-line day. Thirty days in, and there have been some wins. I’ve noticed that while some days are still labeled “L,” it’s not as often as I expected. It’s still a struggle to stay motivated sometimes, but the act of organizing is helping.
The second part—which is a much harder struggle, and one I’m definitely losing compared to before this trip—is my media consumption.
Back in the U.S., I had a reasonable handle on it. Not in terms of how much I consumed (I definitely watched my fair share of YouTube and streaming), but in terms of sources which I consumed from. I was really careful about what I read and where I read it from, just to avoid doomscrolling. That’s a real thing for me—going down the Reddit front page rabbit hole can actually impact my mental health, and cutting that and social media channels off has been one of the best things I’ve done for myself.
But here in Taiwan, it’s been hard to keep that in check. There have been nights where I stay up for hours scrolling through random rabbit holes for no good reason. And since I don’t have to wake up early for work, there’s really nothing stopping me except my own will power (which, let’s be honest, is often lacking).
This actually ties into the book I’m reading—A Brief History of Intelligence—which talks about how evolution has made us vulnerable to the exact kind of stimuli that social media and websites use to capture our attention. It’s like trying to fight evolutionary instincts with rationality—you’re going to lose more often than you win. I’m still trying to figure this one out, but so far, not much luck.
I don’t really know how to end this, so I’m just going to do it abruptly.
The trip’s been great so far—but not without some struggles on my end.
It has been a month since my last post, longer than I anticipated. It was a busy month: securing an apartment in Taiwan, visiting Hong Kong, welcoming my family, enrolling my kid in a new school, seeing my wife off to the US, and transitioning from vacation to a more standard living mode. All these changes occurred against a backdrop of global turmoil. Seriously, my move to Taiwan and global economic turmoil? Name a better duo. For context, the last time I moved to Taiwan, the 2008 financial crisis happened.
Instead of boring texts of what happened – I am just going to use a few photos to cover the last 4 weeks.
I haven’t done a ‘what’s in my bag’ in a while, mostly because I haven’t been traveling solo recently. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this type of post, it’s simply a quick tour of my daily bag, partly to brag and hopefully provide some travel tips.
The Bag: An Evangelion backpack that trades compartments and pockets for more space. It’s semi-water resistant, which is good for the climate I’m in.
iPad Pro: My laptop replacement, with a keyboard case (not pictured).
Small Black Pouch: It used to be a functioning Faraday pouch, but it no longer works (somehow). Now it contains all the small wires, memory cards, etc.
Kindle Scribe: For more mindful reading and writing. It’s useful to have a separate (and relatively small) device for reading without the distractions of an iPad.
Canon RP: With a nifty fifty lens and a wide-angle lens. Depending on where I am, I swap out lenses as needed. Again, it’s better to have a more mindful way to take photos than just using a phone.
LifeStraw Water Bag: A soft, one-liter bag with a filter at the nozzle, much easier to carry than a hard water bottle and can be refilled almost anywhere.
Small Battery Pack: Mostly for my phone, but it can be useful for my iPad in a pinch.
Moleskine Notebook + Pen: I can’t really explain why I need this AND my Scribe, but I use them both. There are some loose pages in it, so I can write something for someone else too.
Sony Walkman: Probably the most obscure item for this day and age. There are times when I just want to put my phone away. The Walkman supports wired headsets and hi-fi audio. I’m not an audiophile, but it’s nice to be able to turn off my phone and enjoy music once in a while.
Other Regular Items Not Featured:
The question is: when you are going to be out for an extended time, let’s define it as more than two weeks, how much luggage do you need to bring? Here is a quick breakdown for me on a “normal” trip.
Clothing: I typically don’t bring more than 10 days’ worth of clothes. My rationale is that after 10 days, it’s easier to do a load of laundry than to commit more space, and it’s really annoying when it becomes necessary to do more than one load of laundry while traveling. In my experience, the laundry machines in self-service places are usually smaller anyway.
Shoes: One pair, unless absolutely necessary.
Equipment:
And that’s usually it. Typically, I can go without check-in bags, and I would cut out a few things to avoid checking them in and, more importantly, needing to wait to pick up my luggage.
Clearly, this trip will go way beyond my typical traveling parameters. In addition to multi-months’ worth of things for myself, there are family obligations I have to fulfill, and 100 lbs of total luggage is a fixed limit that’s hard to overcome. After endless measurements and Tetris-like stacking, I managed to fit almost everything within the allocated space and weight limit.
Double-checking the checklist, then checking it again. Making sure all the documents are ready, the boarding pass is printed, all the essentials are packed, the time is finally here. It’s finally time to head out.
A quick note about what’s coming up here are a couple of ideas
– Some sort of “What’s in your backpack” post
– Some sort of “Contact me” post
I am tagging all my travel posts accordingly (and this is the first one) – so if you just want to follow my trip and skip out on the other stuff – just filter by category.
After 13 years of service, Starbucks decided I was no longer needed, and I was part of the 1,100 who were laid off. In pop culture, the five stages of grief are typically stated as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
There really was no denial. The generic “Your role has been eliminated” left no room for denial. There was no “Could this be a mistake?” or “Is there another Eddie Wang?” It was easy to reach the conclusion: “Yeah, you are it.”
Anger is the clearest and most persistent stage. It is still an ongoing process for me to figure out if I should be angry at myself, management, or the company as a whole. There’s anger at being discarded, anger at the sudden change in company culture, and anger at myself for believing it was anything other than a profit-making vehicle.
There was no real bargaining stage, except for some discussions with colleagues over the question, “Would you ever go back?” and the even more depressing conclusion, “What are we even going back to?”
Depression is truly what this whole grieving process is about. Sadness is the one word that can sum up this entire experience so far. It’s as simple as that, and as complicated as that.
Acceptance is the destination stage of this process. I am not sure what that will be like. One day, if I find another job where I can continue my career with the same level of satisfaction and fulfillment, maybe I will be able to look back and accept what happened.
It took me a little bit of time to determine the title of this post. “Breakup” sounds overly dramatic, but it’s fitting because This American Life recently republished this all-time great story. The feelings are strangely similar. If you have never listened to it, do yourself a favor and download it. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/339/break-up
Finally, thinking back, what will I choose to remember about my time at Starbucks? I went through thousands of photos I have related to the time I have been with the company and decided to post the one above.
It was 2018, and I was in Shanghai to finish up one of my projects. It was also during the company party for the Chinese New Year, and there was a wall where partners could sign and write a message about the company.
For me, it was “peak Starbucks.” The Shanghai Roastery had just opened, and the company was fully engaged in the expansion and elevating the brand phase.
Professionally, I was taking on more of a leadership role, starting to represent teams with stakeholders. Most importantly, it was the time when I started to allow myself to think, “I am onto something. I can see myself ending my career here.” In a way, it was the beginning of the end.
This really isn’t the post I wanted to write, but I need to write it, just for myself. The post I was planning to write is still coming. It will be about my preparation for the Taiwan trip with Kai. That’s still happening, and in many ways, it couldn’t come at a better time.
It’s easy for you to say, ‘Oh, I wouldn’t have acted that way’, but you don’t know. That’s – that’s the truth. You don’t know. And now I know what I’m capable of, and it hurts. – Stanford Prison Experiment
Why don’t I have a choice? I came here on my own free will, I thought I could help in a research project. If I have to hurt somebody – if I was in his place – no – I can not continue. – Experimenter
You drop a bomb, and it falls on the just and the unjust. I don’t wish the culmination of three centuries of physics to be a weapon of mass destruction. – Oppenheimer
It’s the kind of movie that made me want to weep. How can we make so many wrong choices along the way and still ended up here? And how can we still make so many wrong choices knowing the consequences?
Okay, let’s face it, 2024 was a disaster. But instead of dwelling on the past, let’s look forward with a bit more optimism, shall we? (Maybe we’ll save the whole reflection thing for another post.)
We all know how the whole New Year’s resolution thing usually goes. We start off strong, full of good intentions… and then by February, those resolutions are a distant memory. (Apparently, a whopping 75% of people give up before the end of January! Yikes.)
But hey, there are actually some pretty smart strategies out there to help us break this cycle. Two ideas that caught my eye are:
So, given the ups and downs of this year (and let’s be real, the challenges ahead), I’m going to give these two approaches a shot.
Here’s my game plan for the next few weeks:
At the end of my little trial period, I’ll check in and see how it’s going. Wish me luck!
“The farmers want to end the famine but, aren’t willing to do a little blood magic to summon the rains. Some people don’t want to be helped!”
Blood magic? Why would I use blood magic?
Blood magic gets a bad rep ever since people figured out it might carry diseases…
And death, suffering and just general grossness!
But this is 2024 – all the blood we use were ethnically donated, checked and sanitized.
So you are taking away from people who might need the actual blood transfusion? Are you stealing from hospitals?
Not exactly… we have a hazardous material disposal contract and blood do expire, you know?
O.O
And we are not even using that much blood – for a region this size, maybe 50, 100 units max?
What? that’s the blood of 10 people!
5 to 10, I am just estimating here – and we are not using real people!
Can you promise me you are not hurting anyone innocent?
-.- well, we do need a soul too….
I finally plunk down the money for a four years deal – let’s see if it sticks this time.